This morning, I had a wonderful quiet time and reflected on my coaching journey. Reflected deeply on what I have learned over the past 2.5 yrs (and almost 1000 hrs of coaching) as a coach and how I have shifted since CPCC (my first coaching certification programme). Sharing my thoughts and hope that some of them will resonate and inspire you if you are a coach in training.
Jimmy's 10 insights and reflection as a coach:
1. My coaching sessions don't have to end with a happy ending or a commitment/outcome. It's ok. It's not my objective as a coach. So don't get affected if the session ended nowhere or heading nowhere. I don't have to make a difference now when I coach.
2. As a coach, I need to be aware of my feelings in the moment when I coach. I need to find ways to release the emotions quickly and do not let them hold me hostage when I coach. Jimmy, you need to relax. Mastery comes with relaxation and letting go.
3. As a coach, it's ok to coach our clients into the unknown space with curiosity. It's not about achieving an outcome at the end of my coaching. It's about shifting or transforming my clients’ thinking so that they know what they need to do... when our clients’ fear disappears and clarity sets in, they will know what to do next. It's their journey, not yours.
4. Be very careful not to be sucked into my clients’ stories. Coach the person NOT their issue or story. I don’t have to be in my client’s shoes when I coach.
5. As a coach, I need to suspend my mindset that I’m a leader, mentor, problem-solver, (and my various roles in life), etc. It's not about me. My context is different.
6. Coaching is all about creating psychological safety. I must create a safe space where my clients can be authentic and free because they know I care for them and believe in their NCRW (Naturally Creative Resourceful and Whole). Nothing to fix. I need to assume that my client aspires to grow clearer and stronger. At the centre of their being, they have the answers and know what they want. When that happens, my clients will allow me to challenge their thinking. When that door opens, I will fearlessly challenge and stretch my clients (with permission given during DA of course).
7. The less I do, the more effective I am as a coach. I don’t have to prepare my next powerful questions. I don’t have to do perfect coaching. I do not focus on getting my client to an action plan. When I’m not ‘DOING’ anything, I’m actually getting a lot done! Sometimes being silent, listening at level 3 and connecting with my client emotionally and ‘spiritually’ is most powerful to evoke transformation. I learn and coach at my best when I don’t know or just BE. Be a lazy coach (like my supervisor Alex love to say). I’ll modify it to…be a minimalist coach = coach with my eyes, ask simple questions, get my clients to simplify their thinking or ideas…simplicity is key!
8. I must go into every coaching session to be prepared to be inspired by my clients and not the other way round. I will just BE.
9. I cannot give what I do not have. I need to constantly work on my own shadows before I can work with my clients’ shadows.
10. Lastly, I must constantly expand my worldview and range. I need to keep increasing the size of my inner and outer world because it has to be bigger than my clients’ so that I can be their coach to expand their world.
Like you, I have 'done life' and are 'doing life' still. I have made my mistakes as a coach and hopefully learned from them. I'm still in the process of embracing Who Am I? as a coach & human being. I'm still embracing my journey of 'becoming' an empowering coach who will empower HIS leaders to become the best version of themselves in the way they live, lead and serve...and I'm still work-in-progress...
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